Kevin’s Blog

Friday night, Lisa, Faith, and I all journeyed to Brush so that I could play in the High Plains Challenge Disc Golf Tournament Saturday and Sunday. Faith started out well in the car. Then about 15 minutes from Hudson, she woke up and started getting really fussy. I was planning to stop in Hudson and get gas, so we were hoping to soothe her and make it to Hudson. As we were going along, she just kept getting fussier and fussier, building into just a raging tantrum where she almost couldn’t breathe. Lisa managed to calm her a little, and when we got to Hudson, while I filled the car, Lisa changed her diaper. That helped for about 2 minutes, and then she started again. We pulled into a parking spot from the gas pumps, wondering what to do. Lisa thought we should just go since we wouldn’t be able to feed her until we got to Brush, and I reluctantly agreed thinking we could stop every 10 miles or so as an exit came up with necessary. I also prayed right before leaving asking to help. She was really, really fussy until I got up to speed on the interstate, and finally she went to sleep and it was actually a good car ride to Brush. We got there, and my Dad came by so we could go get some practice in on the “Pessimist” course, a temporary course that part of the tournament is played on. Lonnie Roark was along when my Dad showed up, and we picked up John McDonald. We were hoping to meet Heath Becker as well. Heath, Dad, John, and I were all registered for the tournament. We got there, registered, and could not find Heath. But, we got in a preview on the “inner loop” of the pessimist course from the parking lot (1-8, 16-18). It was fun, and in spite of a frisbee stuck in a tree and losing my stingray in a stream (in a normal year, it is about 1′ deep and I would have been able to retrieve it - this year I estimate where my frisbee entered it was probably 4′ deep). Playing well was good - losing the stringray which is my main turnover disc wasnt - although in my “wood” frisbee bag (the bag I used to play in the woods close to work) I had an old backup. We went back to my mother and father-in-laws, met Lisa, Faith, Larry, Ellen, and Mom, and had supper and visited.

I slept well. Faith had a pretty good night, and Lisa nursed her in another room when she did wake up. At breakfast, we actually ended up seeing a whitetail deer in the Larsen’s neighbors yard. This was the first time I have ever seen a deer in the city of Brush. They are common in the mountains, but rarely seen except by the South Platte out on the plains. We went over to the Ft Morgan optimist course at 7:45 and got ready. It was going to be 2 rounds on the optimist course for us (the amateurs) today. I had chosen a discraft comet as my free “players kit” frisbee. It was the only midrange option. I tried it out this morning to see if I could turn it over, as in the discraft ratings it was a 0 (very neutral) disc. Sure enough, it turned over (turned right with an anhyzer) very well. So with it, and my Buzzz, plus the old stingray, I had options for turnover shots without my good stingray at the bottom of the creek. We were there early. I had somehow thought we would start at 8:30 with a players meeting at 8:00, but was 30 minutes off. A little after nine, we got started. I was lucky enough to get paired with John and Heath, so had a pretty familiar and comfortable group. My Dad unfortunately then was in a group where he didn’t know anyone on the hole ahead of us. We were given hole number 3 as our starting point (a hole that requires a turnover shot). I believe I used my old stingray, let it rip, and started off with a fairly good shot. For this round, the wind was blowing out of the south, not too strong but probably 10-20 miles an hour where it did affect play. I started off very well and had good approach shots which gave me “gimme” type putts on the first few holes. On hole number 5, there was a camera filming us. I let go a drive with the buzz - being sure to keep the nose down. This was with the wind. The drive was fairly low, but hot and straight. It skipped off of the sidewalk, and landed within 3′ of the hole. So - for whomever was filming, I had a gimme birdie. Good timing and I hope I find it to see it. I finished the round well, with a 2,3,4 or 5 on every hole with a 70. I felt pretty good, but had had a few mental gaffes where I should have been lower. But, the next best score in my group was a 74 where I figured maybe I would make the top group for the next round. My mom brought over lunch to us, and we ate hoping to get started quickly, as the pending Ft Morgan afternoon severe weather was looming.

It ended up being a 2 hour lunch break (ugh). Finally, they announced the pairings. I ended up playing with John and Heath again, and we ended up picking up a couple from my Dad’s morning group. But, my 70 was 4 strokes better than anyone else - I was in the lead! The wind had picked up. We started on 15 this time. 15 is about a 290′ shot, wide open, fun driving hole. In the morning, the wind had taken my drive and I had ended up about 50′ left of where I was thinking I would end up. I learned my lesson this time, let it go, and ended up about 10′ short of the hole looking at a birdie. Heath fired, and ended up probably 30′ short and a little left. Everyone putted - Heath made a great putt for a 2. Everyone else missed, and then it was my turn. I put the putt in for a 2 Great start. We worked our way around the course. I started missing putts and approaches. My short game wasn’t doing very well, but I was having fun and playing fairly well, especially in the wind. I ended up having a couple of mental errors again and got a couple of 6’s this round. Rob was one of the people with a 74 and he actually was probably a couple of strokes up on me after the 6’s. He also had a 6 on the way in, and I played the water hole (normal #8, 7 for the tournament) and ended up with a 73 to his 70. He was one stroke back. Heath shot a 74, 72, so he was 3 strokes back. We got done just before a pretty severe thunderstorm (the pro’s on the “pessimist” course actually saw a funnel), and went back to the Larsen’s for a family barbecue. I had the overnight lead! The thunderstorm was very severe and windy, and we got a ton of rain right around bed time.

I slept well again. We woke up to a very damp morning. We got over to the “pessimist” course. The weather was very calm - perfect for disc golf (although I would have preferred wind because I seemed to handle it much better than anyone I was playing with). We started on 15 again, with the same 5’some as yesterday’s second round. Unfortunately I didn’t get paired with my Dad for the entire tournament. Final round, with the lead. I led off with a good drive. 15 is a fairly long hole. 2nd shot was good. This left a fairly short approach shot. I threw it - not great, about 20′ away. 1st putt of the day - a challenge. I let it go - clang - 6″ short off of the bottom of the basket. I lost 1 stroke to everyone as they made their putts. 16 - the evil hole. We all drove - everyone into the narrow tunnel. 2nd shot layup. 3rd, everyone went across the lake. We were all in fairly good position. Time for the approach -this time a little longer. I let mine go. It was about 2″ off the ground - hit a berm and stopped - mistake. Everyone else got fairly close - so I had lost a stroke. I threw my second approach - not very good, about 20″ again. The putt - clang, 6″ short again. I wasn’t learning. So, I lost 2 strokes to everyone here. I was out of the lead - and tied with Heath. 17 - much better this year. Everyone had fairly good drives. My approach I left at the evil distance again - not very good - 20″ putt. I putted - clang - 6″ short again. This was getting old. 18 was a uphill fairly short shot. I had a good drive. Now for the approach - I left it about 10″ this time. Now for the putt - this one should be easy. I was going to be sure to get it high enough. I let it go —– it didn’t hit anything. I had managed to grip it too tight and missed the basket right. Another stroke lost to everyone. Same story on #1. This was getting frustrating. On 2, I had a good drive off to the left a little bit of a berm. I was going to be aggressive - this is a long hole with a parking lot out of bounds right in front of the hole. Being so far left, I was able to fire a stingray turned over to avoid the parking lot. I let it fly - beautiful shot, but might have been too long with an OB road behind. I got there, and I was 2′ short of the road. Heath and Rob (the 2 closest at the start) were in similar positions. I was ready, so I putted. I hit this one! Heath and Rob missed their’s, so I made up a stroke. 3 we all played well and all got 3’s (I managed to approach close enough I couldn’t miss it finally). 4, I choked on the putt again (from 10′ or less - missed the basket). 5 Rob managed to go OB on his approach. I missed my putt again, but managed to pick up a stroke on him still, but lost another stroke to Heath here. This whole time, John (whom I though was far enough back not to be a factor) was putting together a very solid and consistent round. I should have figured with the strokes I had been losing to everyone he was fairly close by now - but didn’t consider that yet. 6 I hit a tree on the drive, but recovered fairly well and managed to gain a stroke back on Rob, but lose another one to Heath as he played it well. 7 was a double mando “field goal” hole. Heath had a good drive, but probably 30′ short. Rob hit a tree - the door was open. I figured he and Heath were really close right now. I let go a great drive - low and hot and just a little left of the goal - probably 15″. Rob recovered fairly well on his 2nd, but I should pick up a stroke on him again. Heath nailed his putt - he was playing great. Now was my putt - I should be able to match. I let it go - it hit the chains —- but a little on the left side and fell out. So, easy 3. I gained one on Rob. There was a pretty good backup on 8. We did a quick check on the scores. Rob and I were tied - Heath was 2 strokes up right now. It was still anyone’s match. 8 is a slight anhyzer and it follows a creek the whole may. This is the hole I had lost my stingray on in the practice round. Heath drove - safe but a tough approach shot. I was up 3rd. I let the buzzz go (for the slight anhyzer). It was a tiny bit high - but exactly as I was hoping. It was heading straight toward the thicket guarding the hole. Then - it hit a limb and dropped. But - it looked safe and in a little better position than Heath - although awfully close to the creek. Rob let it go - it looked for sure like it was in the creek. But, the spotter waved safe. We walked up. It turned out mine was in the creek :(. I played from the bad side of the creek. I hit another branck drooping down and ended up with a circle 6 - to Rob and Heath’s 3’s. Ugh. Needless to say, I thought the match was over. We played in. I played fairly well. On 11, I was 40′ out with a chance to gain a stroke on everyone. I let it fly out of a bush. My aim was straight - but, the disc flew 2″ right over the top of the goal and landed about 20′ past. Sure, enough, I missed the comeback putt and actually ended up losing another stroke to everyone. We played in and finished. I finished fairly well and Rob had a couple of not great holes. But, I thought he had beaten me. Heath finished well and so did John. I thought Heath the clear winner as we started adding things up. He was nervous - he though John had caught him. This surprised me. I knew John had played well, but he was 7 strokes back at the start of the day. The scores - Heath 68, John 69, Kevin and Rob 76’s. So, I beat Rob by one. I must be in 2nd. Heath finished with a 214. But, to my surprise, John and I were tied. John had come back very well with that great round and tied my for 2nd, and Rob was then 4th. I give both John and Heath hearty congratulations for their great finishing rounds. It was a bitter pill to lose with all of those missed putts, but I was glad to be beat by a great round.

It was a very fun and a great weekend. I had a lot of fun. I thank everyone I played with, they were great, and it was fun. I just need to figure out how to putt reliably under pressure for the next time now. I learned a lot, and had fun.

I watched part of the final 9 and saw the pro’s throw. That was cool, and very impressive. I know what I long ways I have to go and learn.

Lisa, Faith, and I made it home uneventfully through some rain.

It was pretty incredible the difference the kidney transplant made compared to last year. My endurance was just so much higher. After 36 holes last year, I was exhausted. This year, I had more in me if I needed it. Sunday I was a little tired (might have been part of the problem with putting), but I felt very good and limbered up really well and would have had 36 or more holes in me if required.

Kevin

Monday was an interesting day.   Lisa had a Dr’s appt, and was getting pretty uncomfortable from the pregnancy.   The Doctor had told her that due to her discomfort and nausea, she wasn’t continuing to progress in dilating, and Faith’s size (estimated at 7.5 lbs), that it was time to deliver the baby.   So, she came home, hopeful that labor would be induced really soon.   A few hours later, after checking the Doctor’s schedule, they called back and said that a week from today, next Monday, was the earliest time.   Lisa was devastated.   She was already concerned about Faith’s size, and waiting another week she was fairly certain that Faith would be just way too large for a natural delivery and a Caesarean section would be required.   But, we trusted God for the timing, and were very hopeful that it wouldn’t take until the scheduled date on 5/3.   That night, we had our weekly Bible study.   We asked everyone to pray for God’s timing, and the hope that delivery would be earlier than 5/3.   Our friend Mary shared how she had been eager for delivery of their child, and at a Bible study, and a friend showed her a stretch and that night, she went into labor.    Lisa declined trying out the stretch.   She was hoping for the best, but had pretty much given up on labor happening naturally and was ready to call the doctor’s office on Tuesday to see if there was any possible way to move up the scheduled date.  Everyone continued to pray though for God’s timing and Faith’s arrival.

Monday night, at about 12:40 AM, Lisa woke up.   Her water had broken.   She woke me up, told me the news.   She still hadn’t really started any contractions.   She called her doctor, and they asked us to come in to the hospital.    If everything went well - we were going to meet our daughter today.   I had been warned by a couple of friends to make sure I take a shower before going to the hospital - this might be your last chance in a few days.    So, I ran in and quickly took a shower.   Lisa started getting our pre-packed bag out to the car, fed Sally (she’s really good at remembering all of the practical details like that), and she started having contractions.    They were following the 5-1-1 rule - 5 minutes apart and one minute in duration.   Now we knew that it was time.

We loaded up and headed for the hospital.   I drove very carefully - close to the speed limit but a little faster.   Lisa was telling me things were moving pretty quickly, and no stops allowed.   I dropped her off at the entrance to the emergency room, and then went and parked in the parking garage.   I got all of the bags, and went in and caught up with Lisa.   She was getting admitted.   They were just about to print our bracelets, when the computer system went down.   2:00 AM sharp - and there was a scheduled maintenance period starting.   Luckily, we were admitted just before this happened and were able to get escorted up to the labor and delivery floor.   Lisa got changed into a gown, and they hooked up the fetal monitors.   Everything was looking good.    The contractions were still a minute long, and about 5 minutes apart.   She was also 4 cm dilated.   Things were looked good and proceeding normally.   She also wasn’t in a lot of pain.

The contractions continued to get closer and closer.   We were timing, and they were starting to come about a minute apart, and a minute long.   The nurse came in and checked, and Lisa was about 6.5 cm dilated.   Things were progressing, and although Lisa was feeling a good amount of pain, it was still manageable.  It was about 3:30 AM.    The contractions were continuing and starting to get more intense, and staying about the same interval.   Lisa looked at me, with kind of a sick look on her face, and said, I don’t think I am going to be able to handle the pain much longer.   We called in the nurse and told her we were going to need some help with pain management.    She offered Lisa either narcotics or an epidural.    She chose the epidural, and they put in the call for the anethesiologist.   The time between the decision and the anethesiologist arriving was just excruciating.   Lisa was almost non-functional she was in so much pain.   The contractions were coming almost non-stop, with no rest in between.   Lisa is one of the strongest and has one of the highest pain tolerances of anyone I know, so I can’t imagine what she was going through.    Finally, the anesthesiologist arrived and they were able to get the epidural started.   After about 10 minutes, the contractions were getting into the realm of manageability where Lisa could at least sit still and wasn’t in agony, and then after about another 10 minutes, she was almost back to normal and you could have a conversation with her.

Now was the lull.   We were waiting for her to dilate to the full 10 cm to begin pushing, but with the pain under control it gave us a good hour or 2 to rest.   Everything was going smoothly.

At about 8:15, the nurse came in, checked Lisa, and she was fully dilated.  Now was the time to begin pushing!   We started 3 times every contraction, for 10 seconds each.    Faith just wasn’t really moving, and Lisa wasn’t feeling much.   Lisa asked if they could turn down the epidural so she could feel more and be more effective pushing.   So, they summoned the anethesiologist again, and he slowed the rate of the fentanyl to the epidural.     We waited 20 minutes, and Lisa started pushing again.   Faith was moving a little bit this time, and things seemed to be proceeding.   Lisa’s contractions were also very long, so there was time for 4 10 second pushes each contraction and that seemed more comfortable to Lisa.   So, we tried this.   Faith seemed to be coming down a little bit each time -or at least me thought.   So, we kept up this routine for almost 2 hours.   At the end, we could start to tell that something just wasn’t working.   I kept expecting to be able to see her head crowning.   Towards the end, we were starting to see some stress on Faith.   Her heart rate was faster, and the crash during the pushing seemed to be getting lower.   This was getting to be really tough on her.   They summoned the doctor.   She came in, Lisa tried one more set of pushing, and the doctor saw that Faith just really wasn’t descending.    We were given the option of either trying a vacuum or having a C-section at this time.

Lisa and I had taken the birthing class, so we had some familiarity with both of these techniques.   We were both really naively hoping that we weren’t going to be faced with this decision, and hadn’t really made up our mind in advance about what we would do if faced with these.   I didn’t know what to do.   Lisa wanted to try the vacuum first, so we said let’s go ahead and give it a try.    They got it out, and we tried pushing for a few more contractions with the assistance of the vacuum.   Faith just wasn’t coming, and was really starting to show signs of stress.   So, the decision was made that the last resort left to us was a C-section.   I called both of our parent’s.   Larry and Ellen were already at our house watching Sally and just waiting there.   So, I asked them to hurry over.   When the last option was the C-section, Lisa waved me over and asked me to promise no matter what happened, that I would stay with Faith.   She wanted to be sure that she would be watched over.   It was heartbreaking for Lisa, as I know her greatest desire with this birth was to hold Faith right away and start feeding and bonding with her.   That now wasn’t an option.   I didn’t want Lisa to be alone after such a traumatic experience as the surgery - especially if Faith wasn’t completely healthy.   So, I was hoping Ellen would be able to go back and be with Lisa in recovery while I was in the nursery with Faith.  I then called my parents who were on the way up to inform them what was going on and to make sure they would be close by.   Then, I had to hurriedly pack up our things, change into scrubs, and be by Lisa’s side during the surgery.

While all this was happening, I didn’t hear that Faith was under a great deal of stress and now they were starting to worry if she was going to survive until the surgery.    This was now an emergency C-section to try to save Faith.    They wheeled Lisa over to the operating room.   To our relief, Faith started to recover and look stronger on the way over.   They were still worried, but the prognosis was looking to more likely be positive.   I found my way to the operating room, and was asked to come in.

This should have told me something as to the urgency, but when they were sterilizing Lisa’s belly with the iodine, the doctor was asking that instead of the normal air drying process, that it was highly desirable that we blot it dry and start the surgery.

Lisa and I were just in terror right now.   Lisa’s sister Lori and husband Jon had had some horrible complications with their child Liam a couple of years before, and ultimately had to have an emergency C-section and Liam eventually died as a result of the complications.   Our situation was just seeming too similar.   The anesthesiologist comforted us, and told us that C-sections go fairly quickly, and we would be with our baby very soon.

After a few minutes (seemed like an eternity), they told me that I could stand up and they were just getting ready to extract Faith.   I stood up and saw the doctor pulling Faith from Lisa’s belly.   I held my breath - she was just a little gray and not making any noise.    It just seemed like forever.   Is she ok?

Finally, we heard a cry.   Faith was alive.    They cut the chord and took her over to the warming table and started toweling her off.   She had a little vermix, and a lot of purple and red slime to wipe off.   They also tooka lot of the amniotic fluid out from inside her mouth.   But, she was alive, and she was doing well so far.  Once she got toweled off some, they wrapped her and let me take her over to Lisa.    We took a couple of quick pictures.    We were both just overjoyed with relief.   We were parents and our daughter was alive.

We got a few minutes together as they were starting to remove the placenta from Lisa and stitch her back up. Then, it was time for Faith to go to the nursery and start her examination and get her first bath. So, I pushed her down to the nursery. The nurse started and gave her a vitamin K shot, and she pricked her foot to measure her blood sugar. Everything so far was looking good. Next up was the temperature - it came back as 99 degrees.

Next up was the bath. We went over to the sink where a towel was waiting. Faith didn’t enjoy the cold rag, but she was very happy when there was warm water run on her.

Next up I got to hold her. Finally, a second blood sugar reading, and then I was able to take her to the recovery room and be reunited with Lisa. On the way up to the recovery room, I ran into Lisa’s parents in the waiting room. No one would take Ellen back to be with Lisa. I let them see their granddaughter, and then we went looking for the recovery room. We eventually found a very nice person who showed us the way, and we all got to see Lisa briefly. I got Faith out of the rolling cradle, and gave her to Lisa. Lisa was able to hold her, and try the first feeding. It was just delayed probably 45 minutes from the original, optimal plan. I was also able to get my parent’s called and let them know the details and ask them to abandon Sally and come over the hospital to be with us all.

Larry, Ellen, and I went down to the room we were going to be staying in, and moved all of our stuff in. By that time, they were ready to let Lisa back down to our room, so I went back up to recovery. They wheeled Lisa in, and I wheeled Faith down. Faith got a second round of tests in the nursery (another shot and 3rd blood sugar I believe). Everything was still looking good. I saw Mom and Dad arrive, and was able to bring Faith over to the window so they could see her. Finally, the testing was over and I was able to take Faith in to be introduced to everyone.

It was a harrowing experience, but we are blessed with a beautiful daughter. Faith Randall Carlson was born at 12:03 PM on 4/28/2009. She weighed 8 lbs, 11 oz, and was 20.5″ long. She is named in honor of my brother Randy, who was my kidney donor in December. She is an incredible blessing, and we are looking forward to the new normal of having a daughter in our house. She is already showing signs of being as stubborn and active as her mom and dad.

I am blessed with the privilege of getting to share the testimony of Christ’s grace in my life at the Denver Rescue Mission tomorrow night.   So, here is what I have written up.   I have some more work and probably some minor tailoring to cut down on the length, but am excited for this opportunity and wanted to share my story again here as well.   So, here it is:

Hi, my name is Kevin.  I’m here tonight to share a story of hope with you. I’ve been asked to share the testimony of how Jesus Christ has saved my life. My kidneys stopped working a year ago from a disease called glomerulonephritis. I’ve known I have had this disease for the past 20 years. I don’t know exactly how I got it, other than it came from an infection. The most likely source of the infection was falling off of a go-kart as a little kid. I was riding with a friend, and he took a corner too fast and I went flying off of the side and slid across the pavement. This tore the skin off of much of my leg. My Mom did her best to clean up my leg, but I was eager to get out and play with my friends and squirming and we missed something and it became infected. The only real consequence at the time I thought is that I had to miss swimming lessons because of the infection.

About 5 years later, at my physical examination for high school football, I gave a urine sample. They found that the urine sample had too much protein in it, a sign of a kidney problem. The doctor ordered a kidney biopsy, and the diagnosis was glomerulonephritis with a prognosis of my kidneys likely failing completely within 10 years or so. This was a shock, but I figured I would beat the odds, and somehow get the kidneys to last the rest of my life. I was in denial, and I was very self reliant at this time of my life. I just didn’t realize how much I needed God for dealing with this problem.

I don’t believe that God causes disease or suffering. I believe they are consequences out of the fall, the decision of Adam and Eve to disobey God. As a result of disobeying God, evil entered into the world. They are a consequence out of our rebellion. I do believe that God uses disease and suffering for our good. Just like a parent sometimes needs to let a child make a wrong decision and fail, so that they can ultimately learn a lesson that builds their character, the same happens out of suffering. In hindsight, I wouldn’t trade my kidney disease for anything in the world because it has drawn me so much closer to God, and He has carried me through it and shown me His power and love through the experience. I hope you’ll be able to see what I mean through this testimony.

Paul tells us in Romans:

Rom 8:28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Jesus is a personal Savior to me. Jesus came into this fallen world and suffered, to the point of death on a cross. He knows what we have gone through. But, Jesus is perfect, and without sin. He entered into our fallen world to redeem it from sin. We have all fallen to temptation, and given in from sin. Jesus never did. The Apostle Paul teaches us in Romans 3:23:

Rom 3:23: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

We know that when Adam and Eve sinned originally, and suffering entered into the world, as did death. God has declared death as the penalty for sin. Because we are all sinners, all of us are deserving of this death penalty. Paul tells us more about this in Romans 6:23:

Rom 6:23a: For the wages of sin is death

I too am a sinner. I deserve death for my sin. God is just and has justly set the penalty for sin as death. In retrospect, the kidney disease should have really woken me up to this reality of my mortality. But it didn’t. The only immediate impact back then is that the Doctor wouldn’t allow me to continue to play football. He thought it was just too risky for someone with damaged kidneys. So, I reluctantly complied and moved on. I finished high school and started college. I went to college in Rochester, NY. I made some great friends in college. We had the philosophy of work hard, play hard – and boy did we play hard. We would have a party every weekend and the alcohol flowed freely. I was in full rebellion and not looking to God, and had the philosophy that alcohol was a way to escape and have fun. I was turning to anything but God and looking for happiness in all of the wrong places. I am the luckiest guy in the world that God is so patient and got me through this time. Even with this period of rebellion and dependence on anything but God in my life, God had a plan of hope, and a plan of love planned out for me even before I existed. The Apostle Paul tells us about this also in Romans:

Rom 5:6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.

Rom 5:7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person–though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die–

Rom 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

God has always planned for Jesus to come into the world, to live as a man, but to live a perfect life without sin. Jesus laid down His life for us, to be a substitute for us and to pay the death penalty for our sin. Only through Jesus’ shed blood on the cross, is God’s wrath for our sin satisfied and the death penalty paid. God loves all of us so much, that Jesus came to die for us. He is a substitute in our place for our just death penalty so that God’s wrath against our sin can be satisfied.

I graduated from college and moved to Denver. I started working at Lockheed Martin. My kidneys were still working. I was still pretty rebellious. I knew the reality that Jesus had died on the cross for me, but this hadn’t really impacted the way I live my life. I knew of God’s great love and sacrifice, and I was incredibly grateful. But, I still thought of myself as the center of the universe and I wasn’t looking enough to God for how to live my life. God was still so patient with me. I think that is an important concept. Just because I believed and had faith in Jesus sacrificing Himself on the cross to pay the penalty for my sin, didn’t mean that I was a completed work. I still struggled with sin in my daily life, and was looking to my own way and not depending on God. I was saved from my sin by my faith in Jesus’ paschal sacrifice, but still had a lot of growing to do (and I still do, God continues to help me to grow, but by no means am I a completed work yet). But, that is one area I have great faith. The Apostle Paul promises us in Philippians:

Php 1:6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

As my health began to deteriorate, I began to realize that I had a pretty serious problem and I couldn’t handle it all by myself. Just as I had relied upon God to solve my problem with sin, I realized that this health situation was too big for me to solve. This humbled me, and I realized that I wasn’t the center of the universe. I was starting to learn to trust God and to grow a little bit.

I began going to church on a regular basis. I knew that I didn’t have the solution to the problem and I needed God. My friend Scott was instrumental in this. I had been talking to him about God and he ended up inviting me to church with him and his family. This helped me so much. I became part of a body of believers. I had people to help me to grow, to study God’s word with, to reflect God’s love to me. I hope if you are in a situation like I was, where I was very self reliant and just trying to work things out on my own, that you’ll listen and take my advice. I know I probably wouldn’t have listened to someone at the time, but by God’s love and grace eventually He broke through my hard headedness and drew me closer. God has so much more planned for you than you can figure out on your own and a significant part of these blessings come from being part of a body of believers. The relationships and accountability, as well God’s love, mercy, and grace experienced with other Christians is just invaluable to your spiritual growth. So, in 2002, I started going to Belleview Community Church. Soon after that, I joined a Bible study and we started on the most incredible journey. We started in Acts, and began following Paul on his missionary journeys. Each time we came to a place where he wrote an epistle, we went off and studied this epistle. This study has just helped with so much growth in my life. It is just a special small group of people, and just being in God’s word in that setting has been an amazing blessing. This type of experience I believe is one thing Jesus intended for us when he created the church.

One of the greatest blessings in my life, that I believe is truly a gift from God, is my wife Lisa. God brought her into my life, and brought us together at the perfect timing. I’m never alone. Jesus promises to always be with me and I try to lean on Him for everything in my life. But some of the things I have had to face with my kidney disease I also needed a partner for – simple, unromantic things like rides to dialysis, taking care of me when I am sick, just simple caregiver things like that. I’m not sure how I would have made it through the past year without her. But, she is so much more. God brings 2 people together and makes them one in marriage. Lisa and I have learned so much about love, and depended on God’s love and grace together. I believe marriage is a way that God reflects His love into our lives and helps us to learn about what He intends relationship to be – and Lisa is just about the ideal person for me where I truly believe it was God’s work bringing us together, and just one more blessing He has perpetrated at just the right time when I was ready and needed it the most. Anyway, we have been through a lot together and I love her dearly, and I just thank God for bringing her into my life at the perfect time.

Paul tells in 2^nd Corinthians:

2Co 4:15 For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.

2Co 4:16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.

2Co 4:17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,

2Co 4:18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

Paul is talking about hope. He is talking about an eternal perspective. Our bodies here are wasting away. They are subject to the fall. They are subject to entropy. We are mortal and our flesh is only temporary. God has a plan for that, that He accomplished through the cross, redeeming us to Him. Jesus died on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins. But that is not the end of the story. After the cross, Jesus was buried in a tomb. There He stayed for 3 days. On the morning of the third day, Jesus conquered death and rose again, to eternal life. Paul tells us in Romans:

Rom 6:9 We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him.

Rom 6:10 For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God.

Rom 6:11 So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

Jesus has conquered death. Paul also tells us in Romans:

Rom 6:23b but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Because Jesus has paid the death penalty for our sins, and has conquered death and lives forever, we have hope in this free gift from God and hope for eternal life, and for the redemption of creation where there is no suffering. This is what I mean by keeping an eternal perspective now when we are going through suffering, keeping our thoughts on this victory over death and suffering. Suffering is only temporary.

This was my hope as I entered into dialysis. On 3/17/2008, I went into the hospital to have a permacatheter placed and to start dialysis. This was a tough day in my life where I really needed God’s strength and peace, and to keep an eternal perspective. A permacatheter is a port that gets placed into your jugular vein, and threaded down into the larger veins close to you heart in your chest. It allows hooking you up to the dialysis machine. This first time getting a permacatheter placed was one of the worst experiences of my life. Before going into the radiology lab for the procedure, they asked me if I wanted something to take the edge off. They said about half the people that get this done get something, about half don’t. I generally don’t want drugs and like to be alert in situations like this, so I told them that I would be ok without anything. So, I got wheeled into the lab, and they numbed up my neck with lidocaine. They then used a machine to puncture my jugular. This wasn’t bad and I didn’t feel it. But, the next part was awful. The part where they had to thread the catheter ends down into the jugular. Lidocaine numbs the top area so you don’t feel cutting, but you can still feel pressure. So, shoving the foot or so of tubing down into my chest was just an incredible amount of pressure and uncomfortableness. It was just awful. I didn’t know what to do, so I just began to pray. God was so merciful, and drew me so close to Him. Even though I still felt the pressure of the tube being pushed in, just an incredible sense of peace came over me and I knew I was going to get through this and it was going to be over soon. I am just so thankful for this love, mercy, and grace of God holding me at this time. It soon was over, and I was wheeled up to my room to be reunited with Lisa and my family. The first dialysis went smoothly that day. Eventually, everyone left and I was alone for the first night. I wasn’t feeling great after dialysis as my body wasn’t used to the new, cleaner chemistry in my blood, and the shock of the day and everything hit me. I hit a low point, where I was really feeling sorry for myself. Again, I just didn’t know what else to do, so I prayed again. Again, God just showed such mercy and grace and such an incredible sense of peace came to me, and God really reinforced to me that this was temporary, and to remember to keep the eternal perspective and that He has conquered this and I would be liberated. I knew everything was going to be fine then.

I was on dialysis for almost a year. There were some challenges with infections that brought me back to the hospital and again brought me to situations where I just had to trust and throw all of my problems to God to get me through. He was always so faithful, and always brought me back to His victory on the cross and the peace I could count on when I trusted in Him to carry me through this. Throughout this process, I always had the goal of getting a kidney transplant. My brother Randy had agreed to be tested, and ended up being a compatible donor.   I was blessed that both of my brothers were willing to be tested, and that a lot of the details worked out.   My brother David did a lot of the research to get both him and Randy through the Air Force bureaucracy. I am so grateful to Randy  for being my donor.  In December, we were scheduled for surgery. I was a little scared of the surgery, but was finally being able to just rely upon the cross, and Jesus’ victory and knew no matter what the outcome of the surgery was, I was going to be carried and taken care of by God and my eternal destiny was taken care of and to just trust and rest in God’s plan for me. Randy also knows Jesus, and ultimately gave me a great sense of peace in his taking the risk of the surgery for me, and taking the risk of living his life with one kidney. So, again, I just lifted up the situation to God in prayer, asked that if it were possible, all of the paths with surgery for both us could be straight, but ultimately no matter what happened that He would be glorified, and just trusted the results to His will. All I can say is that Randy and I both came through the surgery miraculously well, and Randy’s kidney started filtering my blood immediately and is working well to this day. I was out of pain in a day, and Randy and I were both released from the hospital the third day after the surgery day. God has just brought so much healing, and made the paths so straight with this transplant that I am just in awe and just so incredibly thankful.

I have so much hope for the future because of God, because of the cross, and because I know how magnificently God has taken care of me. Lisa and I are looking forward to the birth of our daughter at the end of April. We can’t wait for all that God has planned for us as parents. I know that I am still part of a fallen world, and I still have some suffering and disappointments left in my life, but I know that I can trust in God, and I know that my hope and faith in Him will carry me.

Jesus tells us in His final night with the disciples before his arrest and crucifixion that we should expect persecution and suffering. If the world persecuted and brought suffering to Him, surely as His followers we should expect the same:

Joh 15:18 “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.

We know that our time here on earth won’t always be easy. But, I want to assure you, and I hope you can see God’s power at work in my testimony, that we should have hope. We know that God has conquered suffering, has redeemed the world from the fall. Through faith in Christ, through trusting God for our eternal fate, we have hope. Jesus closes His teaching to the disciples, before praying right before His arrest, with this promise:

Joh 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

TAKE HEART; JESUS HAS OVERCOME THE WORLD!

Do you share in this hope? Do you know Jesus? Do you share in this hope with me? Jesus loves us. God desires that everyone would be saved. Paul tells us in his letter to Timothy:

1Ti 2:5 For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus,

1Ti 2:6 who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time.

Paul tells us in Romans 10:

Rom 10:9 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Rom 10:10 For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.

Rom 10:11 For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.”

Rom 10:13 For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

God wants everyone to be saved, but not everyone will place their faith in Jesus, and His sacrifice on the cross to redeem us from our sins. I am going to pray now, and if you’ve never done so before, and would like to trust Jesus for the redemption of your sins, and to share in this eternal hope with me, please pray this along with me:

Heavenly Father,

I am a sinner. I have tried to do things my own way and haven’t always trusted in You. I need You in my life. I want to share in the eternal hope You have provided for us. I believe that Jesus came to the earth, lived a perfect life, died on the cross for my sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that He was buried, and that in accordance with the Scriptures, was raised on the third day. I confess that I believe in You, and that I want to turn my life over to You. May I share in Your amazing grace, mercy, love, and peace.

Amen

If you prayed that for the first time, congratulations. God has wonderful things in store for you, and I hope you can feel His peace and hope already with me. Please tell someone about your decision, and remember that many of God’s blessings come through relationships with other believers, and that will really help you to grow and be held accountable in your faith. Thank you for this opportunity to share God’s amazing love and grace in my life with you.

Thanks,

Kevin

Original published at: Roundup Online

I recently had the honor of donating one of my kidneys to my brother Kevin. With a new kidney, Kevin has a new lease on life. Even without this kidney, my health after recovering from the operation is great. The donation experience has touched me tremendously. I would like to encourage others to become organ or tissue donors.

Before the surgery, Kevin’s life was pretty much on hold, mainly because he had to endure dialysis. This consisted of driving 25 miles to a clinic three times a week in order to have a machine filter his blood for four hours. The doctors inserted a catheter into his chest as a port to the machine. This catheter unfortunately became infected twice. Dialysis restricted his ability to travel. It also put a limit on how much water he could drink and what he could eat.

The kidney operation went very well for us, and now life for Kevin is the best it has been in 15 years. His new kidney began filtering his blood literally in the operating room, eliminating the need for dialysis. The color in his face has returned. He can eat foods like ice cream again.

In his own words just a month after the surgery, Kevin expressed that, “I’m feeling great. The new kidney is working well, and I am just chomping at the bit for more activity. It has really been a miracle how I have healed.” Kevin is now looking forward to the birth of a daughter in April and to becoming a father for the first time.

I should live a normal and long life with one kidney. According to the Congressional Kidney Caucus, one out of 750 people are born with only one kidney and usually do not even know it. People with one kidney actually have a longer life expectancy than those with two, according to my transplant coordinator. This is more than likely because we are motivated to monitor our diets. For example, we tend to limit salt intake more than the average American.

I have read so many interesting but often disappointing statistics about organ and tissue donations. One source is a powerful book entitled “The Gift that Heals.” In this book, which I mostly read during my three days in the hospital after the surgery, Reg Green tells the stories of several donors, including his own son. Nicholas Green was tragically shot during a family vacation, but his organs and corneas were successfully transplanted into seven Italians. According to Green, every day 18 out of the 100,000 people waiting for an organ die due to the shortage of donated organs.

How can you help reverse this unacceptable statistic and become an organ or tissue donor yourself? One way is to visit the Donate Life America website at www.donatelife.net. Anyone can be a potential donor regardless of race, age or medical history. In addition, for those of us at NMSU, we can keep an eye out for opportunities like the recent bone marrow drive held on campus and put on by the family and friends of leukemia patient Melissa Sterling.

Donors are divided into two categories: living or deceased. Living donors, like me, simply volunteer. Giving a kidney, a portion of another organ or even bone marrow requires an operation, but it shouldn’t have any long-term effects. Less extreme volunteering examples are donating blood or skin. Most donated organs come from deceased donors like Nicholas Green. Signing a donor card and a driver’s license with an “organ donor” designation is a start. However, you should still ensure now that your loved ones know your wishes.

Donating a kidney to my brother has brought us closer and given us both a new outlook on life. My friends joke that I should not have to give Kevin a birthday present for awhile. Why did I give my brother such an amazing present? In short, Kevin needed my extra kidney more than I did. I wanted to help save his life. The fact that my kidney is working inside my brother is a true blessing. My brother and I want you to experience this blessing as well. If you have not already, please consider becoming an organ or tissue donor.

All is going well.   The new kidney is stable and I am feeling great.   My creatinine was 1.2 at last blood draw.   I continue to follow up either with the Dr or with the study nurse every week for another month or so.   Then, I should get released back to my normal nephrologist.

Lisa and I have taken a couple of great hikes this weekend.   Today we went to O’Fallon Park.  It was our first time hiking there.   It connects up with the trail systems of Corwina Park and the Lair of the Bear.   We probably hiked between 4 or 5 miles.   I felt very good, and we had great views of Mt Evans.   Here is a link to some pictures.   Hopefully this works out where you can view them:

O’Fallon hiking pictures

Kevin

Lisa and I watched a sermon by Francis Schaeffer last night given in 1982 warning about the influence of the secular humanist / moral relativist worldview.   It was absolutely amazing how it touched on many of the same issues that are still political hot buttons today - the purpose of the 1st amendment (not freedom from religion, but government protection for the practice of all religions and not establishing one as part of the government), activist judicial system setting laws vs the legislative branch, and the value of human life.  If the secular humanist worldview were correct, and man is the result of random chance and the pinnacle of random mutations, it inevitably leads to two very hopeless conclusions.

First, that those with the greatest power establish what they think is best, leading to all kinds of potentially detestable consequences such as genocides and other forms of tyranny, at the whim of those in power to do what they believe is in their (and presumably humankind’s) best interest.

Second, human life is devalued.   This happens in many ways.   First, eventually the sun is going to burn out and the earth will cease to be fit for life, so everything is going to die anyways.   It is just a matter of timing.  Second, those that don’t have the fittest genes to pass on to the next generation can be looked at as adding less value to the species, and either deemed not as valuable or at least seen as having some fixed value where resources could be withheld if the resources value is deemed higher than somehow their worth is calculated at.    This is happening now, and this really hits home personally for me with some articles such as this older one where the government either tries to determine how much medical treatment one’s life is worth or organ transplant allocation policies based on some value of the person formula that are tracked really well on Dialysis from the Sharp End of the Needle. It is a very slippery slope when someone else tries to determine how much your life is worth and you may not like their answer, and without a fixed value system, the answer may change based on the person making the decision.

There is a solution.   It is the only worldview I have seen that fits reality and can prevent these types of problems.   In the Christian worldview (I think the definition from “UnChristian” in my previous post is still good for what beliefs make up the Christian worldview), God is the absolute source of truth and moral law.   This doesn’t leave the most powerful person to impose what they think is best for us based on their relative morals.   If we are obedient and look to God, true freedom can be found and life is valued.   Humans are created in God’s image, giving all humans equal value.   Arbitrary and relative decisions about the value of one person vs the other are avoided, and we are taught that the greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart, soul, body, and mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself.   By looking out for your neighbor as yourself,  you are treating them with equal value as yourself.   Granted we are all fallen, and no one is able to do this type of love perfectly, but if we strive for this ideal everyone is treated with value and life respected.   I know there have been historical abuses of power in the name of Christianity, but they obviously haven’t been done in obedience to the command to love one another.   The story also isn’t complete yet.  Until Jesus comes back, it does leave room for man’s disobedience (sin), but, this still doesn’t negate the validity of the worldview.  The Christian worldview is the only one that solves this problem of sin.   Jesus came and paid the penalty for our sin on the cross, redeeming us and creation.   I submit that Christianity is the only way to explain creation (God is creator of all), the presence of evil in the world (the fall), and the solution / redemption from evil (the cross) that fits with reality.   Secular humanism cannot explain creation (all scientific evidence points to a creation event - the big bang, and thus a first cause.  Secular humanism has no credible explanation for creation), cannot explain the presence of evil, and has no solution to / redemption from the presence of evil.

Anyway, this is a very brief summation.   I’ll probably try to work on this more and add more detail / expound more on my thoughts as I have time.   But, if my brief writing has piqued any curiosity, I’d highly suggest reading Francis Schaeffer, or Nancy Pearcey’s “Total Truth” for a more complete discussion on worldviews, and more specifically, the Christian worldview.

Kevin

Everything continues to go well after the transplant.   I’m feeling great, the new kidney is working well, and I am just chomping at the bit for more activity.   I’ve taken a few short hikes, and a very easy flat bike ride.   I am still restricted to not do anything to strenuous for fear of a hernia in the surgery area, and I have a stent in my bladder that rubs and causes a little bleeding if I overdo it as well.    I’ll get that out soon.   I just praise God for the peace, and making this path so straight.    It has really been a miracle how I have healed.

Lisa and I have been working on Faith’s room and other general preparations for Faith’s birth.   We took a childbirth class Sunday afternoon, got rid of an old couch to make room for a hide-a-bed that will now be our guest bed, as the guest room is becoming the nursery.   The childbirth class was good and I learned a lot.   I really just pray that everything will go well and we’ll be able to naturally manage the pain and have this child.   It is a little overwhelming to me right now, but Lisa and I both know that we have God to trust in and that we won’t be alone when Faith is born.   Many of the complications were pretty ugly and not fun to think about.

I’m reading a book right now titled “UnChristian”.   It is written by a researcher at the Barna Group summarizing a ton of research they have done on basically my generation and a little bit younger and their views on Christianity and the church.   “UnChristian” refers to the picture that many people outside of the church get when the perception of Christians is seen as hypocritical, uncaring, and judgemental.   It goes into a lot of detail and research as to why a lot of those attitudes exist.   There are a few areas that really hit home with me and I had thought about before, but not in as much depth as this research.   I had always thought the hypocritical label was more of a misunderstanding.   Every Christian is a sinner - a sinner that has realized they have a problem in that their sin seperates them from God, but Jesus in His mercy and grace died on the cross to remove if we believe in Him.   Jesus has paid the penalty for our sin.   Out of this faith, only through the gift of the Holy Spirit, there should be some transformation and fruit.   This transformation should be visible.   But, the believer won’t be perfect.   This is a process we know won’t be complete this side of heaven, but hopefully as we mature we’ll grow and continue to bear more and more fruit, with of course God as the source.   So, I believed the main source of the hypocrite label was a misunderstanding and the expectation of a Christian to be perfect, which of course is an impossible expectation and the transformation and growth was just not seen.   The research shows that on the average, people who proclaim to be born again and non-believers have statistically identical behavior in most areas such as gambling, viewing pornography in the past 30 days, etc that they were surveyed on.   So, that is very interesting.   I really hope and pray that people can see transformation and fruit in my life.   I know that I am far from perfect still, but I hope God’s effect on my life is visible to those whom I come in contact with.   I feel like I have grown a ton and know God has done amazing things in my life.   This line of reasoning also led into discussions on politics and emphasis on moral behavior vs showing love and grace.   This is a really tough subject.   We know that we are all sinners, and cannot live up to the law perfectly.   But, when asked about expectations of Christians from both believers and non-believers, the number one expectation of a Christian was someone who follows the rules - follows the law exactly.   So, essentially, our expectations are that everyone behave perfectly, especially Christians.   But, since we know this is impossible, we are setting ourselves up to a standard we know we can’t live up to where the hypocrite label looks right.   I don’t believe this minimizes what God defines as right and wrong, and that we do need to look to and be obedient to the law and morals as defined by God in the Bible.    But, we need to remember the grace God has shown us, and try to show forgiveness and grace and lovingly correct the people we have relationships with when they do go astray.   Outsiders need to see that grace being practiced.   Of course, sinful behavior cannot be encouraged and does need lovingly corrected, but we need to remember the source of our forgiveness and make it known that forgiveness is available to all.   It is a really tough area, as a lot of people will be in denial and not want to admit something they are doing is sin even if they know better - which kind of leads to a vicious circle of probably accusations of hypocriticality and judgementalism (i.e. - what gives you the right to define morals for me - moral relativism is an ugly thing) and we really haven’t gotten anywhere.   It is tough especially when worldviews clash.  This is just an area where I know I need to rely on and trust God, and if I am bearing the fruit of love and patience hopefully at least my personal interaction will be seen as loving, even if it is any area of worldview clash and we just have to agree to respectfully disagree.   Anyway, it is obviously a subject that stimulated a lot of thought.   I do agree with the author’s assertion of the need to be transparent and admit that I don’t have it all figured out and that I can’t follow the law perfectly and am in need of God’s grace on a daily basis this side of heaven.   I am utterly dependent upon Jesus - and He is my Lord and carries me.

Second had to do with the emphasis on conversion, and the lack of emphasis on discipleship within the church.   This one really strikes home with me.   The author has come up with 8 items used to identify someone with a Christian worldview from the polling, that I tend to agree do an excellent job.   They are:  “Jesus Christ lived a sinless life, God is the all-knowing and all-powerful Creator of the universe and He still rules it today, salvation is a gift from God and cannot be earned, Satan is real, a Christian has a responsibility to share his/her faith in Christ with other people, the Bible is accurate in all of the principles it teaches, unchanging moral truth exists, and such moral truth is defined by the Bible (”UnChristian, Kinnaman and Lyons, p75)”   A very small percentage of people who profess to have made a personal, meaningful committment to Jesus Christ actually have a Christian worldview as defined by the 8 categories above.   I believe this shows the emphasis on conversion, but the lack of emphasis on discipleship afterwards.   I believe all 8 of the principles are very clearly defined and supported in scripture and the percentage of people who have professed a personal relationship with Jesus as Lord and Savior and the percentage of those with a Christian worldview as defined by those 8 criteria should be nearly equal.   I think the numbers being wide apart shows the emphasis on conversion, but not on following up with discipleship and helping those people learn and grow in their faith, and grow in their knowledge of the Bible.   This really strikes home at my home church and I hope to figure out a way to do something about it.   We are taught every week in a sermon, and we do have a small Sunday school Bible study program.   But, we don’t have a discipleship emphasis or committee.   Although discipleship is recognized as a need, it never seems to get any type of priority especially compared to other better established ministries.   It is an area where I think we are out of balance and I hope to be able to help facilitate a solution more than I contribute now.   I am probably really biased in that I live for discipleship - but this book really helped reinforce that there probably is this problem out there in general too.   Obviously another area that has stimulated a lot of thought.

So, with all of the thinking and hopefully some action stimulated by the book so far, I would really recommend “UnChristian” to anyone willing to read it and interested in these type of areas.

Kevin

I wrote a book of short stories.   It was inspired by the book “Walking His Trail”, by Steve Saint.   In that book, Steve Saint pointed out “Sand Castles” in his life, where he had been able to see God working to create something deliberate workings in his life demonstrating God’s grace and provision.   He challenged anyone who read it to write up their own “Sand Castles”.    So, I did this.   Instead of “Sand Castles”, I used “cairns” for my analogy.   A cairn is that pile of rocks you come across sometimes when you are hiking marking the trail, showing you how to find the right way.    I believe there are many situations where God has laid out a “cairn” for me to follow.   I’m attaching a PDF copy of this here, and if anyone would want a hardcopy, it is published at lulu.com.    Here are the hyperlinks:

(hardcover) http://www.lulu.com/content/4943460

(softcover) http://www.lulu.com/content/4945169

I hope you enjoy.   God has really carried me through a lot in my life, and I am so grateful for His amazing grace, love, and mercy and how lovingly and patiently He has carried me.

Following God’s Cairns.pdf

Kevin

Over 700 years before the first Christmas, the prophet Isaiah told us about Jesus’ birth.   There are literally hundreds of prophecies about the Messiah given to us in the old testament, and Jesus fulfills every one of them:

Isa 9:6 For to us a child is born,  to us a son is given,  and the government  will be on his shoulders.  And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting  Father, Prince of Peace.
Isa 9:7 Of the increase of his government and peace  there will be no end.  He will reign  on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness  from that time on and forever.  The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this.

On the first Christmas, God came to live with us:

The Birth of Jesus

Lk 2:1 In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world.
Lk 2:2 (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.)
Lk 2:3 And everyone went to his own town to register.
Lk 2:4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem  the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David.
Lk 2:5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child.
Lk 2:6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born,
Lk 2:7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

The Shepherds and the Angels

Lk 2:8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.
Lk 2:9 An angel  of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.
Lk 2:10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid.   I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.
Lk 2:11 Today in the town of David a Savior  has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.
Lk 2:12 This will be a sign a  to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
Lk 2:13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
Lk 2:14 “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace b  to men on whom his favor rests.”
Lk 2:15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”
Lk 2:16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.
Lk 2:17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child,
Lk 2:18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.
Lk 2:19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.
Lk 2:20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God e  for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Jesus came to die, to bear the punishment for our sins, His shed blood the atonement for all of the worlds sins:

The Suffering and Glory of the Servant

Isa 52:13 See, my servant will act wisely; he will be raised and lifted up and highly exalted.
Isa 52:14 Just as there were many who were appalled at him —his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and his form marred beyond human likeness —
Isa 52:15 so will he sprinkle many nations, and kings will shut their mouths because of him. For what they were not told, they will see, and what they have not heard, they will understand.

Isa 53:1 Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
Isa 53:2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
Isa 53:3 He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Isa 53:4 Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.
Isa 53:5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.
Isa 53:6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

Isa 53:7 He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.
Isa 53:8 By oppression and judgment a  he was taken away. And who can speak of his descendants? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was stricken.
Isa 53:9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth.

Isa 53:10 Yet it was the LORD’S will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
Isa 53:11 After the suffering of his soul, he will see the light of life and be satisfied; by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities.
Isa 53:12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death,  and was numbered with the transgressors.  For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

All of us need Jesus, we all are sinners:

Ro 3:22 This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.  There is no difference,
Ro 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
Ro 3:24 and are justified freely by his grace  through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
Ro 3:25 God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.  He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished  —
Ro 3:26 he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.
Ro 3:27 Where, then, is boasting? It is excluded. On what principle? On that of observing the law? No, but on that of faith.
Ro 3:28 For we maintain that a man is justified by faith apart from observing the law.

Ro 6:23a For the wages of sin is death,

Since we are all sinners, and the just punishment for sin is death, we have a huge sin problem that needs to be solved.   We cannot work our way out of this problem through being good people, or through good works somehow balancing out our sinfulness.   We are deserving of death because of our sin.

Ro 6:23b but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

God solves our problem for us.   This is entirely a free gift from God.   This is grace.   God created us in His image, as free moral agents.   We can’t work our way out of our sin problem, but we can choose to believe in this amazing present from God, and have faith that He has solved this sin problem for us and has given us the gift of eternal life through Jesus.

Ro 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

This is just absolutely the most amazing news.   The best Christmas gift and why I am always so thankful and happy at Christmas.   God came and died for me - but that is not the end of the story and good news.

1Co 15:2 By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain.
1Co 15:3 For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures,
1Co 15:4 that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures,
1Co 15:5 and that he appeared to Peter, and then to the Twelve.
1Co 15:6 After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers at the same time, most of whom are still living, though some have fallen asleep.
1Co 15:7 Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles,
1Co 15:8 and last of all he appeared to me also, as to one abnormally born.

1Co 15:20 But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep.
1Co 15:21 For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man.
1Co 15:22 For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive.
1Co 15:23 But each in his own turn: Christ, the firstfruits; then, when he comes, those who belong to him.
1Co 15:24 Then the end will come, when he hands over the kingdom to God the Father after he has destroyed all dominion, authority and power.
1Co 15:25 For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet.
1Co 15:26 The last enemy to be destroyed is death.

Christ died on the cross for us, to solve our sin problem and to pay the penalty for our sin.   But, on the third day, as He told us, He conquered death and was resurrected.   Christ the Lord is risen today, alleluiah.  God demonstrates that He has conquered death, and we can hope to share in this eternal life with Him.   Will everyone share in eternal life?   What must we do to accept this gift?

Ro 10:9 That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,”  and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
Ro 10:10 For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.
Ro 10:11 As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”

Ro 10:13 for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

We must just ask Jesus to save us, have faith that what He accomplished in His life, death, and resurrection solves our sin problem.   We must accept this Christmas present of grace that God has offered to everyone.

As I reflect on Christmas, I cannot help but praise God for this greatest gift in my life, the gift of Jesus Christ.   Jesus is my Lord and Savior.   I hope if you don’t know Jesus, reading about God’s love for us in this blog will help you to consider God’s amazing love for all of us, and you will ask Jesus into your life and accept this gift God has offered to you too.

God has been so amazingly good to me this year.  2008 wasn’t easy, but God has brought me through everything I have faced with just more of His amazing grace.   Dialysis was a shock, along with the hospital stays for infection and my vancomycin allergic reaction, but He has also healed me from all of this.   The gift of my brother Randy sacrificing his kidney is just amazing and beyond what I can express in words.   Randy’s modeling and reflection of Christ’s selflessness, and faith and dependence on God in giving up his kidney for me just brings me tears of joy.   God has also brought both of us through the surgery and has brought healing to us in remarkable ways.   It is only one week ago that I received this new kidney, and already people cannot tell that I had surgery a week ago.   God has brought so much healing, and straightened out the paths through this trial in such amazing ways.   The new kidney is working well, and already my creatinine is lower than it has probably been in the past 25 years.    God is so good, and I just trust Him for all of the details with the new kidney.

Lisa and I are incredibly excited to be expectant parents.   God has given us a daughter, little Faith, inspite of the incredible odds of conceiving a child while on dialysis.   I just look forward so expectantly to her birth in late April, and I just pray that I can reflect God’s love in my relationship with her, and teach her about God.  We just pray and rest in God’s will and look forward to the adventure He has for us in pregnancy and the birth of a little girl.

Lisa and I were really blessed to be able to climb 3 14′ers this summer.   I thoroughly enjoy the challenge of climbing to the highest places in the beautiful state we are blessed to live in, and am so thankful God gave me the strength to be able to do this this year.   We probably won’t be able to be quite so ambitious in 2009 with Faith, but we hope Grandpa and Grandma will be willing to babysit for at least one or two 14′er hikes.

There are so many more blessings and trials from 2008 I am thankful for.   Both blessings and trials work together to bring me closer to God, so I am incredibly blessed and thankful for that.  I wish everyone who reads this Merry Christmas, and I just can’t wait for what God has in store for us in 2009.   May God bless you.

Kevin

A small excerpt from the ultrasound video of Faith

Launch in external player