Kevin's Blog

I had been wanting the opportunity to put together some of my favorite scripture into a Sunday school lesson illustrating the Gospel fitting reality and best explaining life as we experience it. Colossians 1:19-23 was the perfect opportunity for this. What little we know about the Colossian heresy, and Paul’s strong teaching on the supremacy of Christ, and Christ redeeming creation on the cross was a great opportunity to do this. I know this isn’t perfect as a lesson and I’ll probably work on improving the message here over time, but figured this was worth posting and sharing on the blog in case it would be beneficial for someone else to use, or in case someone on a random web search finds it and was wanting to learn more. Depending upon how much discussion occurs, this lesson can be done in about an hour, and work great in an adult Bible study or small group.
Colossians 1:19-23.pdf

Lisa and I took a good hike again today with Sally. Not quite as long as yesterday, but it is good to get out and be active. God blessed us with just such an amazing place to live, and a great weekend to enjoy being outdoors. We are very thankful to be able to get outside and enjoy it.

Kevin

Outpatient dialysis is going well. All of the people in the clinic seem to be very nice and competent. Dialysis for the most part has been going well. The only complication so far is that my blood is clotting a little bit in the machine. There is a filter that is at the start of the return line to make sure that a blood clot doesn’t get returned to me. When my blood clots in the machine, eventually there gets to be enough blockage at this filter that they can’t maintain a good blood flow. The net result of this is that they have to switch out the lines and filter halfway through, and this ends up taking like an extra 15-20 minutes. Long term they hope to get permission to use a little heparin into the machine to cut down on clotting. I finished reading “Dead Heat”, by Joel Rosenberg this week during dialysis. It is the last book in his fictional series that deal with many end times prophecies. They have all been excellent books. It is a little scary because he has been right on with some of the scenarios he has written in the books. In this one, terrorists and North Korea launch short range nuclear missles off of container ships just off of our coast in international waters and blow up Washington, New York, Seattle, and Los Angeles. I really hope something like that never happens. It is interesting though. You don’t really see an obvious reference to the United States in end times prophecies, and you wonder if something like this scenario does happen to keep us from being actively involved in defending Israel. Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed reading all of Joel Rosenberg’s books and would highly recommend them. The next book I have started on is “Safely Home”, by Randy Alcorn. It has been great so far. It deals with a fictional, but based on true story of the persecuted church in China.

Lisa and I took a good hike today up Mt Falcon. It was a beautiful day and good to get outside. We took Sally with us. Both her and Lisa are passed out now from the hike. I did pretty well. I was a little concerned I would tire out quickly, but my endurance was pretty good and physically I seem to be back to normal.

Prayer request: I am struggling trying to figure out exactly what the best long term modality is going to be for me. I still struggle completely with the idea of a live transplant if it is only going to be a temporary solution. I am blessed in that I have a few people willing to get tested and I should hear soon and get more information about this. But, I also think that peritoneal dialysis might be a pretty tolerable long term modality and maybe even preferable to a transplant – but of course I don’t know exactly what peritoneal dialysis will be like either. Finally, hemodialysis wouldn’t be too bad to continue, although I would have to get a more permanent internal access mechanism like a fistula which doesn’t sound appealing at all to me. So, I definitely need direction on figuring this out and would really appreciate prayer support on determining the best long term modality and surrendering to God’s direction here.

Kevin

I’m home from the hospital. I can’t say how grateful I am for the people that came and visited me in the hospital. Dialysis isn’t that bad, but the hospital is not fun at all. On Monday, Lisa and my parent’s took me to the hospital and we checked in. I got escorted back into the radiology department and fitted with an IV. They kept asking me whether I thought a local anesthetic would be enough or if I wanted something more. I had no idea what to answer, but generally I try to avoid any type of drug I am not required to have, so I agreed to go with just the local anesthetic. That was probably a mistake. The catheter insertion didn’t hurt per se, but you could tell at least the big things they were doing. So, when it came time to have the catheter pushed inside of your chest, you could feel and hear them pushing the tube deep into your chest – about the same as you would imagine a drain rooter going into a pipe. They finished up, and I can’t say I was ever in pain, but boy was my neck stiff. I go back to the drain snake analogy, it felt like I had a metal coil pressing against my trachea and holding my neck vertical. I then got taken to my room and checked in, and got to spend a little time with my parents and Lisa before dialysis. Lisa was able to come down with me for the first dialysis late Monday afternoon. That was good because she got to see me hooked up for the first time, and this nurse was just fantastic. She explained in great detail everything she was doing and what I should expect. I can’t tell you how much better having Lisa there, and having this great nurse made this initial experience and really thank God for taking care of those details – I really needed both. Dave and Mar-Lee came to visit that night. That was really appreciated. Monday night was my low point. Dialysis went well, but I felt horrible afterwards. I got a very bad headache for most of that night, and was still feeling pretty beat up from the catheter procedure. The headache was the result of my body not being used to the new blood chemistry – basically a really bad hang over feeling. With the headache, uncomfortable hospital bed, and shock of everything that happened during the day, I didn’t sleep well at all. I definitely prayed a lot and felt pretty bad for myself. God really lifted me out of that low point, and knowing that this was only temporary and Jesus has won the battle for me over death and pain, God delivered me from that low point. I eventually was able to get some sleep that night. I was woken up twice though, once by a shot in the stomach. I thought the nurse was insane when she came in to give that to me. A shot in the stomach was about the worst pain my mind could imagine before going in to the hospital. It ended up not being anywhere near as bad as I had imagined, but that poor nurse must have just seen sheer terror on my face when she told me what she was going to do. She was great about it and patient with me, and we got through it. The staff at Porter were all great, and that really helped things. Their caring and positive attitudes were real gifts to me. The second time I was woken up, it was a 4:30 AM blood draw. Mar-Lee had warned me about the “vampires”. Getting woken up by needles was probably my least favorite part about the hospital. The next morning, I had dialysis at 6:30. This one went by very uneventfully. This time I wasn’t alone. Luckily the first dialysis nurse had warned me that I would see some very sick people in the dialysis centers, and to not let that get me down. Many of the people would have a lot of problems in addition to needing dialysis, and hopefully I’d never have to face some of those same struggles being that I am otherwise pretty healthy and in good shape. This second day, there were 2 other people in there with me that just broke my heart – they looked so sick and like they were suffering so much. I hoped so much that they knew Jesus and had Him as their foundation and hope like I did. 2nd dialysis went very well, and I got back up to my room in time for lunch and to see Lisa. Lisa was just absolutely amazing in this experience. She was always there, always positive, and just such a blessing. I can’t thank God enough for bringing her into my life. She is truly a gift from God. My parents were also a great blessing and there for the first 2 days. The rest of Tuesday was such a blessing. I felt great this time after dialysis – no headache. Then, a stream of people just kept coming. First, Dennis and Juanita Simonich. They have experience in their family with dialysis, and that was great to hear. Then Lisa’s sister Lori and husband Jon visited us. That was very much appreciated too, and I think gave Lisa a good short break going to an early dinner with them. Next, Larry and Sue Beaumont, and Bill, Barb, and Annie Kosick visited. Dave came back on his way home from work, and Tom and Carole Stutzman. I just cannot tell you how perfect this stream of people was, and how perfectly timed all of the visits were one after another, but with enough time in between to not overwhelm me or Lisa, and to also allow all of the nurses and tests to intersperse between the visits. I really appreciated the phone calls I received as well. Tuesday night, I was hoping to sleep better. My neck was much less stiff. I did sleep better, but had the same interruptions from the “vampires”. I was so hopeful I would have dialysis at 6:30 again and be able to come home by about noon on Wednesday. But, that just wasn’t meant to be. Dialysis ended up being scheduled for 12:30 PM. Lisa was there bright and early again. Lisa’s parents came to visit this morning too. That was very appreciated, and things ended up working out very well even though I didn’t get out of the hospital as early as I had hoped. We got to spend some good time visiting in the room that morning. Dialysis went very well, and I was able to be released from the hospital at about 4:30 Wednesday afternoon.

Now comes the “new normal”. That is a term that Don Piper uses in his books. He was pronounced dead after an accident, and spent 90 minutes in heaven before being returned to his body and surviving. It is just exactly right for what I am experiencing. My diet is going to have to completely change. Most of my favorite foods are now not good for me to eat on dialysis, as sodium, potassium, and phospates are very difficult to be removed by hemodialysis. So, this basically removes cheese and other dairy products, as well as most of the sauces I like on pasta. I’ll adapt and survive, and actually felt I ate very well in the hospital on the restrictions – but, it was a shock when we were trying to figure out meals and shopping for groceries last night. I know the “new normal” is going to be different, but I have so much hope that God is going to use this whole experience for something incredibly glorifying for Him.

I have already been so blessed and carried through this experience by Him, and I just can’t state how much hope I have for this new normal and new experience. The medical part is just awful for me, but this trial is forcing me to depend so much on God for strength and guidance, and that is really liberating. James 1:2-4 has great new meaning to me:

1:2 My brothers and sisters, consider it nothing but joy when you fall into all sorts of trials, 1:3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 1:4 And let endurance have its perfect effect, so that you will be perfect and complete, not deficient in anything.

I still would have a very hard time wishing to fall into a trial, but I know that in a fallen world, a trial is inevitable, and that God will bring me through it. My hope is in Jesus, and this all happening right before Easter just really builds my hope and anticipation even more for Christ’s second coming, and the full redemption and restoration of creation. I would challenge everyone who reads this to go read 1 Corinthians 15, Romans 8, and Colossians 1. We focused on these in our last Sunday school class, I think they will reveal my state of mind and hope perfectly in Christ’s resurrection and the power, glory, and hope I have in Him. Dialysis is temporary, but because of His death on the cross and resurrection on the 3rd day, I know that I have eternal life and hope.
Kevin

Today I got a lot more information. I’ll be in Porter Hospital next week. I found out my first lesson learned. The transplant group is a completely separate group from my nephrologist. I knew that about the time I went on dialysis would be when I would potentially become eligible (pending testing, etc) for the transplant list. I always thought the transplant list was something managed through my nephrologist’s office, and didn’t think to ask otherwise. I knew there was a transplant surgeon. I just didn’t put together that the transplant list and eligibility for a transplant comes through the transplant group versus the nephrologist managing that. So, when I called the transplant group today, they are busy enough that they have an almost 2 month backlog before I can get an appointment. Part of that is working through eligibility with insurance and some of that kind of stuff, but, I wish I would have anticipated needing this appointment 2 months ago . My parents will be coming up Sunday. It will be good to spend a little time with them before the hospital. Lisa’s parents will come up at some point during the week too, so she’ll have a full house. Some bad news I would share – a transplanted kidney typically lasts 7-10 years. So, a transplant really isn’t a permanent solution. Without knowing what dialysis is like yet, that makes me at least question whether a transplant is worth it, or at least whether I would feel comfortable someone risking surgery and life with one kidney on my account for something temporary. I will say though, 7 to 10 years without being tied to a machine sounds like a pretty fantastic gift right now, but I would imagine my expectation of what dialysis will be like is worse than reality. Please continue to keep Lisa and I in your prayers.

Kevin

No new real news. The Doctor’s appointment went fine. The plan is to go into the hospital next week pending availability of a bed which should be confirmed Friday. Our families will be up to visit and support Lisa and I. Surgery would be to put in a port for dialysis, and then supervised dialysis to get the settings correct and then I’d be “in the system” for outpatient dialysis.

Kevin

I have been reading a lot of Francis Schaeffer, Nancy Pearcey, and Charles Colson lately. All of the above authors really focus on a Christian worldview and helping to apply Christianity to all aspects of your life. It has been really good and helpful. I find it amazing that Christianity is the only truly consistent worldview for explaining life as we experience it, and how these books have really helped me focus on God’s power and authority in absolutely everything. I wouldn’t expect otherwise, and would challenge anyone to have confidence that as we learn more and more, the more it will reinforce God’s pre-eminence in everything. My biggest hope is that God’s grace shows into every aspect of how I live my life, and that I could more fully day by day grow and be a better servant – not by works, but only through God’s grace being reflected out through the person He created me to be. Instead of a paraphrase that wouldn’t do justice in a small amount of space, I would challenge anyone to try to read “Total Truth”, “How Then Shall We Live”, and/or “How Now Shall We Live” if I’ve peaked your curiosity at all.

I have a Dr’s appointment this Wednesday. It is looking like I will need to start dialysis within the next month. I am thinking that most likely this will mean the 3 to 5 day hospital stay in the next couple of weeks. We have really appreciated the prayer support we have received from church, family, and friends. It is felt – God has really given me peace about this. I of course am scared and don’t want to have to go through this, but I trust God, and trust that He will provide me more than I can even imagine to ask for to make it through this trial. I know that as we approach easter, that Jesus has redeemed creation through His work on the cross and in His resurrection – and that I don’t have to worry about this trial. So, I know that this is temporary and everything is going to be fine, and I have hope and peace. Please continue to pray for Lisa and I – we will need it. But, we are so thankful that we serve Jesus Christ, and have Him as our hope and rock.

Lisa and I have been out for a couple of warm up bike rides already, and I already have quite a few rounds of frisbee golf in this spring. We had a major cat fight last night. Gandalf and Kyla finally had a battle royale. I thought that they were getting along and we wouldn’t have to worry as much about keeping them separate. Gandalf watches Kyla really closely when she comes back to her bedroom, but there seemed to be a sort of detente where he just escorted her in and out and kept a close eye when she came back. Well, last night that ended. I’m not sure who won – Kyla lost more fur, but Gandalf hurt a claw where both suffered minor injuries and Lisa has them on antibiotics. Hopefully that will be the last one and they both are associating the nasty tasting antibiotics with the fight and it won’t happen again – of course I know that isn’t happening but one can hope . Sally was very jealous she didn’t get to join in that “play” time.

Teaching Sunday school has been going really well and a real blessing. We’ve been diving very deeply into the first chapter of Colossians. It is just so theologically dense and fulfilling to study. I think Lisa gets a little frustrated sometimes when we don’t quite make it through the lesson I had prepared in one class, but sometimes we can’t quite plan out all of the detours the Holy Spirit has in store for us and it is really encouraging to me to have the people in the class so actively involved and really helps me see sometimes something different but incredibly valuable out of the scripture we are studying. I am really thankful for that class.

Kevin